For the past week, Internet rumors have been broadcast world-wide about a top-secret Nintendo project that has apparently been in the making for years. The game is Battletoads. The project has been under such tight wraps that not a single screenshot has been released but gamers are anxiously awaiting the date as Gamestop employees have been reportedly flooded with calls about the upcoming hit.

In and amongst the hundreds of news tips we received about this story today, a reader sent us a screen-capture from the Gamestop website, showing that the game was at one point available for Pre-Order on the Company’s website but we were unable to find the exact link. Only speculation now remains.

Rumor or not, the Internet is buzzing with reported details of the game. It only makes sense that Nintendo is bringing back another much-beloved classic to the system which can now be enjoyed by a whole new generation of fans.

Sony’s latest and greatest attempt to pull the PS3 out of it’s murky money sinkhole has been to get top designer Tom Dixon to design plush and elegant rooms to showcase the PS3 in. The rooms will contain workshops showcasing what the PS3 and PSP can do for you in your living room. Does Sony really think PS3 fans are that stupid that they don’t know how to use their own products? Retarded! This laughable attempt at popularizing the PS3 is one of the poorest marketing campaigns we’ve seen in a long time. Rather than showcasing the system, Sony feels the current lackluster titles of the PS3 would be better set off by being accompanied with soft leather sofas, pretentious cocktail bars and gentle piano music playing in the background.

“PlayStation and award winning designer Tom Dixon, with the help of some fresh new design talent along the way, created 3ROOMS to be your space as much as ours. It’s a modern East End apartment with a twist; here we host the most intimate of house parties for friends.”

“This innovative and inspiring space in East London is a much-needed place where creativity and technology coexist to form some great events. Versatile in design and rich in style, 3ROOMS is a place to communicate, relax and surround your self with the latest technology and wax lyrical about digital and its place in the real world.”

This sounds more like something you’d see at a pompous Apple media event.

Earlier this year, the Internet caught wind of a new G.I.Joe movie in the works, which follows up on Hasbro’s success of the Transformers movie. Unfortunately, along with the rumor came some sour details that made ‘Joe fans grimace in agony. If we go back for a moment, let’s review some of the horrible plot details that were previously uncovered:

• G.I.Joe stands for “Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity.”
• G.I.Joe is an International Anti-Terrorism unit based out of Brussels.
• The Cobra Organization is led by the Scottish arms-dealer, Destro.
• Cobra Commander’s role is very brief.
• Will Smith to play the role of possibly Duke or Roadblock.

Thanksfully, Hasbro has come through with a press release to hopefully clarify what is going on with the upcoming film:

Hasbro’s G.I. Joe Team wanted to take this opportunity to clarify some of the facts regarding the G.I. Joe live-action movie that we are developing with Paramount Pictures.

First and foremost, we are not changing what the G.I. Joe brand is about. The name “G.I. Joe” will always be synonymous with bravery and heroism. The G.I. Joe brand has enjoyed a successful 43-year history, spanning two key generations. The first was the line of 12-inch “realistic military” figures that were popular with kids in the 1960s and 1970s.

The second generation, was created in 1982, and is based on a cast of fictional heroes and villains that make up the “G.I. Joe vs. Cobra” fantasy. The premise of this fantasy is the story of the G.I. Joe team, led by Duke, and their “fight for freedom wherever there is trouble” against the evil Cobra Commander and his Cobra force. This storyline was an instant hit with kids in the early 1980s, spawning a highly popular 3-3/4-inch action figure line, comic book collection and animated series.

This movie will be a modern telling of the “G.I. Joe vs. Cobra” storyline and its compelling characters that Hasbro created 25 years ago. The G.I. Joe team will not be based in Brussels. Instead, they will be based out of the “Pit” as they were throughout the 1980s comic book series. And, in keeping with the G.I. Joe vs. Cobra fantasy, the movie will feature characters and locations from around the world. Duke, the lead character and head of the G.I. Joe team, will embody the values of bravery and heroism that the first generation of G.I. Joe figures established.

G.I. Joe is a very important property to Hasbro and we thank all of our fans for their enthusiasm. Without all of you, the brand would not be where it is today.

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A huge Internet-wide sigh of relief could be heard seconds after the press release was posted. Unfortunately there’s no word on Will Smith’s involvement in the picture.

Software pirates around the world are applauding in unison as news begins to circulate around the Internet that the Pirate Bay has recently acquired the domain for the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI.com). The Pirate Bay and the IFPI have been at war for some time now, and this undercover snatch of the domain was a convenient kick-in-the-balls at the IFPI. A Pirate Bay admin, Brokeup, posted via TorrentFreak:

“It’s not a hack. Someone just gave us the domain name. We have no idea how they got it, but it’s ours and we’re keeping it.”

With those kinds of ties, I’m sure we’ll see more shenanigans afoot very soon.

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According to The Inquirer, there are more problems with the Halo 3 collectors edition. This time, the DVD holder hub had low-grade adhesive applied to it and subsequently causes a gummy, sticky mess when pulled off accidentally. Apparently one reader didn’t even know the hub had come off before he put the game into his Xbox 360 and ended up with gooey-sticky-tight DVD-drive that refused to open.Source

The glue is most likely semen of ejaculating fanboys that participated in the Halo 3 beta.

Despite the need to push their new Vista OS, Microsoft has decided to listen to the criticisms of its users and has made the unexpected move to extend the Windows XP lifespan by 5 months. Originally, XP was scheduled to conk out in January 2008 but that date has been changed to June 2008.

Many PC enthusiasts are still clinging to Windows XP, as they wait for Microsoft to patch and polish up the sourly crumbled Vista OS. “Thank God I can still purchase XP for my clients until summer 08,” said Barth Bill an Internet PC seller. “Microsoft’s been dodgy with their whole business model for rolling out Vista. They don’t listen to their customers. People say ‘We want XP’ and Microsoft basically comes back saying ‘No, you’re getting Vista.’ It’s like walking into a shoe store, trying to find a pair of new Nikes and instead, the salesman starts to fit giant pieces of shit onto their feet.”

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In a recent press release, Apple has gone on record saying they will be discontinuing service for users who have “unlocked” their iPhone. Unlocking the iPhone allows users to run unauthorized software applications, which is strictly prohibited by Apple. This Friday, Apple will be releasing an update that will be pushed out to phones on the network which is intended to disable the phones that have been unlocked. To help guise the update, Apple will also include the iTunes Wi-Fi Music Store capability in the phone with the update.

We all know how important killing off 3rd-party support is for Apple. Unfortunately, it’s like having testicles but without a penis.

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I’m pretty sure this is one of the funniest Star Wars clips I have seen in a while.

Yesterday we experienced some serious site down-time. After several minutes of searching, we found who we believe to be Toby Mcguire hidden in one of our server closets, trying to overlock the CPU on our main server. He had also created what looked like a “human rats nest” in the room, consisting of various pieces of hay, garbage, and bits of feces. We got out our big broom and swept Toby out from the closet, and called in Bug-Rid to get rid of the nest. Things seem to have stabilized for the time being.