Top 10 Things To Buy A Nerd That Has Everything
You know that rich nerd friend of yours that absolutely has everything you could possibly think of? Well, so do we! We constructed a list of 10 simple, yet extraordinary, things to buy him/her on their next birthday!
So strap yourselves in!
Take me onward, to the top 10 list!
10. Super Mario Bros. Themed Bedroom
Every nerd in the world knows that having a Super Mario Bros. Themed Bedroom would be the coolest thing in the world. To fully accessorize the room, a warp-pipe toilet is a definite must, as would be a mushroom ottoman. Additionally, all the walls would have to be painted in some sort of mario-themed world patterns and mario-brand trinkets must clutter the rest of the room.
Street Fighter II is the quintessential video game for any sort of gaming enthusiasts. Basically, if you have not played SF2, you don’t deserve to be playing video games at all.
Most people in the world are still catching onto the technology of virtual reality. But every tech-savvy nerd in the world knows the excellent satisfactions that VR brings: 3D gaming in a virtual environment and virtual sex with Jenna Jameson. Also, living out your life in a virtual world is much more satisfying that having to put up with all the crap in the real world.
This is an easy one: hanging out with the best video game character of all-time and the best food mascot of all time. Just imagine an afternoon of doing nothing but playing Super Mario Bros. 1 and eating cheeseburgers all afternoon! The food hangover the next day would be atrocious, but the memories would last forever.
I would have these guys hanging out on my coffee table, dancing to Daft Punk 24/7.
After those long nights playing nothing but Halo, every gamer needs to relax before bed. And what better way than your very own Chun-Li Personal Prostitute!
Despite costing $45,000, this TV is essential for any real gamers home.
Ok, let’s face it. Nerds are lazy. We need to be serviced 24/7. We need soda’s and pizzas brought to us while we are questing in World of Warcraft. We need our feet rubbed when we are playing Halo 2. We need our shoulders massaged after a night-long fest of playing Zelda for Wii and we need to be serviced after playing Rumble Roses. Enter Slave Girl Leia, the gamer nerd’s ultimate service worker.
To further escape from the nonsense that is the real-world, an appropriate purchase would be a holo deck. This goes a little bit beyond the technology of the virtual reality helmet, although not quite as portable. To redeem, it is in fact, more realistic of an experience and your journeys will be that much more satisfying.
1. Your very own real-life lightsaber
’nuff said.
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